Bhutan, the land of Thunder Dragon
Year 2019 is the year I have decided to conquer my fears.
Well, not all of them. But at least make a beginning.
It has been a while since we took off from the city and had a vacation. Delhi summers are not the most pleasant things to happen to anyone. When the mercury soared to 48 degrees, registering one of the hottest days ever in the history of Delhi, we decided to head to the mountains.
Except, the heat was such that even the nearby weekend getaway places (and Delhi is blessed with many in the neighbouring states of Himachal Pradesh and Uttarakhand) were having unprecedented heat wave themselves.
So the idea came: Bhutan.
Now, first things first. Those who think they could go backpacking on shoestring budget across Bhutan (like they could in Himachal and Uttarakhand), they are mistaken. Bhutan is one of the most expensive neighbourhood destinations, especially when it is quite similar (landscape-wise) to our very own NorthEastern states.
Then again, NorthEastern states are not cheap-touristy places either.
Secondly, those who are expecting a ‘modern’ country should know that it is not. It is modern in sense that they are very welcoming and know tourism is good for them. However, they have managed to preserve their culture (and are fiercely protective about it too).
On our flight from Delhi to Paro, Bhutan, we saw Mount Everest and Mount Kanchejunga. The pilots are very helpful in helping you spot the peaks and considering this would be the only way I would ever get to see the Everest, I was happy. So much that both of us took window seats (both the times) because, YOLO.
Paro landing is one of the most beautifully breathtaking experience. Your flight passes through mountains, taking sudden turn and before you know it the runway appears. Quaint, little airport where you walk from the aircraft to the immigration. Yeah, that’s how it is.
There are thousands of video blogs and travel blogs which could tell how how to be a tourist in Bhutan. I am not going to talk about it.
Instead, I want to talk about two fears I tried to overcome.
I have paralysing fear of steep places. I’m not afraid of heights as such but if I’ve to climb up or down some narrow staircase or a staircase which has really steep steps, I get petrified. I am always afraid I will fall down.
Dzongs are government offices and also house a temple and have really steep steps. I climbed them, albeit slowly. But I made it. I was out of breath (I am not in the best of my physical fitness and pair that with thin air of the mountains) but I made it.
That’s a statue of Buddha overlooking Thimphu, Bhutan. It sits on top of a hill and involves fair amount of walking. One way to reach it is driving the car towards the rear entrance and walking up a slope (which we did) and other is climbing a whole lot of steps (which are still under construction).
I, however, walked down the stairs. It was windy, the steps were not fully constructed and were broken in parts and there was no railing. The steps just didn’t seem to end. All kinds of thoughts crossed my mind. What if my feet just give in and I could not move one step forward. I could in no way climb my way back. How will I be brought down if I just pass out because of dizziness.
But, I made it too. I sort of swayed a little with the wind. Like, seriously. If I didn’t hold on to my phone tightly, I was sure it will just fly off my hand and glide into the valley below, lost forever.
When I reached the last step, my feet were shaking, I kid you not. I was sure that if there were one more step, I would have just sat there and made sure I get picked up by a crane or something.
And speaking of climbing, let me come to the second fear I conquered.
I have always been the fat girl. Not something I am proud of and not something I have spent days and nights being upset and sad about. If you have never struggled to fasten your seatbelt while taking a flight or never walked into a store and known that there is not a single thing on display that will fit you (except the shoes), you wouldn’t know how little things are huge struggles for fat people. Sure, we’re butt of all jokes and sometimes we make fun our ourselves as defence mechanism so that we don’t let the thin people feel they have an upperhand.
While in Bhutan, I also climbed the weighing scale. For the first time in over a decade. I was always afraid to see the number. The dreadful number which would send me on a downward spiral of binge-eating which would be followed by feeling guilty which would again be followed by another round of binge-eating. It is a vicious cycle.
I was afraid the number would be so so so high that just reading it would make me never want to make an effort to lose weight because there would be no way in hell I could lose all the weight.
But I climbed the scale and reading that number did not make me hate myself. Well begun is half-done. It was then that I decided that the first thing I am going to get myself is a weighing scale when I go back home.
We reached home this afternoon and I ordered myself a weighing scale. It will reach on Wednesday. We are six months into 2019. We still have six more months.
Six more months to get some part of my life in order.
I’ll come back here and report on 31st December 2019 on how far I’ve reached and which other fears I’ve conquered.
In the meantime, let me get on with meal preparations. Apparently, making sure you have your meal planned for next day helps containing the binge-eating bouts.
So here’s to me. And to everyone else who’s struggling.
Sooner or later, we will get there.
