Love a little

One of the hardest things to do in life is to love yourself. By that I don’t mean being the ‘main apni favourite hoon’. No. It is to acknowledge that you have your own issues. And to make conscious efforts to heal. Sometimes, we are toxic to our own selves.

It is so easy to not ignore the problem areas and hope it will go away on its own.

We all come with emotional baggage. If you are a smoker, you have underlying issues you need to tackle. No addiction is without any underlying problem.

Over the years, I found my comfort was in food. Till last year when I had a wake up call. I started acknowledging I have issues I need to deal with. I put myself on number one priority.

I fall down, of course. But now, I am conscious that I am falling down. I know that after I fall down, I will be there to pick myself up. That it is possible to fall down and start again from where I started.

Along the way I realised how people and some behaviour pattern of people around which I thought was ‘love’ was nothing but harmful for me. I started noticing little things about people who want to sabotage my healing. They did not want me to heal because they knew once I would heal I would not be with them and cut themselves from my life.

It is still a struggle to not let ‘them’ win. It ain’t easy. But I’ll get there.